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RUMBLE IN THE JUMBLE #3

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I'm very excited to have a stall at Rumble In The Jumble tomorrow, the 26th of April.  It's the third time The Music Circle (which is a subsidiary of The Circle - a group of women in the music industry working with Oxfam to fight poverty and inequality, founded by Annie Lennox) has hosted one of these sales to raise money for the charity.  Last year they scored over £16,000 with donations from Damon Albarn, Alison Mosshart, Fearne Cotton, Daisy Lowe and Annie Mac.

I will be trundling down with some of my own clothes to sell, alongside donations from Little Boots and Anna Prior from Metronomy, and two big sacks of goodies kindly sent over by River Island, including these bits.








There will also be lots of celebrity items to buy including...

– Annie Lennox's hand-written lyrics for 'Sweet Dreams'.
– David Gandy's suit.
– Anna Calvi's Gucci heels.
– The four-track recorder that Suede's Brett Anderson recorded early b-side 'He's Dead' on.
– The shoes Garbage's Shirley Manson wore in the video for 'Blood For Poppies'.
– Lauren Laverne's Marc Jacobs dresses and her leopard print coat.
– A signed Florence and the Machine screen print.

I'll race you to those Shirley Manson heels...and Lauren Laverne's leopard coat...and, well, everything.
There are also amazing donations from loads of bands, presenters and other kind people including Fearne Cotton, Arcade Fire, London Grammar, Chloe Howl and Alt-J.  And lots of brands, labels and magazines have been very generous too, big shout out to ASOS, Clarks, Dazed & Confused, Whistles and Dr Martens.  Oh and there will also be food from Jamie Oliver's Barbecoa, a pop-up Smashbox makeup studio, a Bumble & Bumble hair salon, tea and cake, Prosecco and punch on the terrace, a raffle to win festival tickets, and a mother frickin' photo booth. 

It's going to be an amazing jam-packed day of fun.  If you want to come just turn up at The Oval space in London, E2 with £3 to pay on the door and a bag of jumble.  Oh and hang out with me!  

LAZY OAF + GARFIELD

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Last week we went to Lazy Oaf's event in London to celebrate their new range featuring possibly the most famous cartoon cat in the world, Garfield.  We've been big fans of the work of Gemma Shiel (the mastermind behind Lazy Oaf) for a while, and this new collection is more of her genius splashed onto cropped jumpers, shirts and shorts, with full approval from Jim Davis himself, of course.  In fact Davis personally signed little notes that were slipped into our Garfield tote bags - I'll be framing mine later.

Also, guys, they had miniature lasgnes on offer.  I can't even.  There were models draped elegantly over the amazing installations by Rosy Nicholas, whose collection with Fred Butler I regularly Google and lust over.  Two words: KNITTED SHOES.

You can now buy all the pieces from them online, or from their snazzy new shop in Ganton Street in London. I've already put several items on my wish list (oversized pink shirt and jeans, Garfield socks with little ears and rucksack - you will be mine) but in general I just want to dress Jeremy up in every piece and make him wear it constantly and also buy a big fat ginger cat and make it live on pastel pink carpet amongst silver ribbon.

RUMBLE IN THE JUMBLE WAS AWESOME

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On Saturday it was Rumble In The Jumble 3 (I wrote a bit more about it here), which is basically a big fat jumble sale arranged by Gemma Cairney and The Music Circle to raise money for women living in the DRC where there is a huge problem of gender inequality.  This year the event raised £24, 458.62, which is wonderful.  I had a stall and it was a LOT of fun, I don't think 6 hours have ever passed so quickly.  I was so impressed by the amazing organisation skills and boundless enthusiasm of The Music Circle and Gemma.  And Jen Long's DJ set was pretty much perfect.  

There are loads of photos from the day here but I've also uploaded a couple I took amidst all the madness of  lots of lovely people trying to shop whilst also scoffing cake from Drink, Shop and Do.  No easy task, my friends.  

Along with hand-written lyrics from Annie Lennox and Shirley Manson's shoes, some of the clothes on offer were donations from people with sweeeeet wardrobes (Gizzy Erskine's Moschino cardigan above sold even before I'd had the chance to put it on the rails).  Big thanks to Liv Purvis from What Olivia Did (pic above) for keeping me company and purchasing Fearne Cotton's PPQ dress.  

Also, check out these DM's that went on a flash sale for £10 towards the end of the day - I may have picked up a pair of the floral ones for myself.  Such good times.


STYLE DISSECTION: SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH (TV)

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I've already signed, sealed and delivered an SD (that sounds dodgy) of the first Sabrina The Teenage Witch film - there are three by the way - but now it's time to pull apart the TV show itself.  As a young teenager I thought this series was perfection.  I always wanted to be a witch, or at least learn to be in control of myself and my life the way someone with magical powers was.  Also I loved the Spellman's house and in particular Sabrina's bedroom.  Here is said room in its normal state:




Can you say LAVA LAMP?

And this is her bedroom when Salem accidentally eats the Time Ball she's made and the whole world goes back to the 60's.  Yes, Time Ball...why are you looking at me like I'm crazy?



Anyway, I digress.  I often rewatch the show, pretty much once a year year, and it's still wonderful.  Plus I notice so much about it that was lost on me when I was 13.  Sabrina is really, really smart.  Despite messing up every episode she always gets A's, she's super confident and funny, and she's a Good Person.  She even tries to understand why Libby "Ew" Chessler is so horrible to her.  Her aunts are also amazing - Zelda is this brilliant science genius and inventor, and Hilda is the raddest I-Genuinely-Don't-Give-A-Fuck hilarious heroine.  Sure they're a bit naggy, and the show itself is cookie-cutter moral perfection, but I'm so glad I grew up watching some pretty frickin' strong women.  

So it feels like I'm slightly undermining all of that to say, "And here are some pictures of them looking really pretty in nice clothes", but at the same time, that's another element of the show I really appreciated, and their whole "togetherness" as characters was supported and reinforced by their excellent wardrobes.  And you know what?  I like it when people look good and I'm OK with that.  So...so...BACK OFF OK?

I've picked Season Two to dissect as it seems to be the golden age for their outfits, and also I want to do this properly and very in-depth.  I may also dissect the other Seasons.  Five is a particularly interesting one as it's when Sabrina goes to College and discovers mesh tops and leather pants, which I think also coincided with Melissa Joan Hart discovering mesh tops and leather pants.  The combined joy and pain of growing up on TV. 

Season Two Sabrina likes to wear all of one colour.  Everything from shoes to tights, to chokers and even eye shadow. 



These patent leather buckle shoes below are driving me crazy like Adrian Grenier. 





My absolute favourite example of her colour matching is this purple ensemble below. She starts with the lightest hue on top and lets it gradually get darker until her shoes are decidedly blackberry.  It works like a dream. 





Despite my desire to recreate a lot of 90's looks, this outfit below is one I probably wouldn't want to attempt now, but that doesn't stop me from loving it.  The fluffy hood, the hair, the choker and the boots make me weep with joy. In fact all of these outfits are really making me want some knee high boots. 




I mean, just look how good the boots look with this mustard roll neck and black mod dress.  




And check them out here with this black mini-skirt and mesh top decorated with a sequin heart. Need. 



Hey, speaking of 60's dresses, I'm signing up to the fan letter for this Halloween orange and black one, below. 


This was the year Hilda and Zelda ordered new furniture from the Other Realm that talked, Valerie made Sabrina have a party and then came dressed as a chicken, Zelda accidentally made a river of candy corn, and then the floor got termites and Valerie fell through it.  Still in her chicken costume.  Oh and 10,000 Maniacs played.  

"Hi, is that reality calling?  I NEED TO CHECK IN"



Sabrina is very into her mini-skirts.  She has several that have a small slit on one side, and I think they look great. 





Shout out to the red velvet top and the white mesh thistle (?) number.  Also, rings.  There are a lot of rings worn in the show.  Both by Sabrina and her aunts. 



I love Sabrina's off-duty look in the picture above with the scrunchie and Adidas.  She does relaxing at home looks very well.  Stone washed jeans and long sleeved T-shirts feature heavily. 





(In other news: oh my goodness the Quiz Master had a nuts wardrobe). 

Of course, sometimes her magical abilities affected the way Sabrina dressed, for example when she had to go to witch Boot Camp. 


Or when she had to babysit her evil cousin Amanda (played by MJH's real life sister) and was turned into a doll. 



Or when she wanted to find out what boys talked about when girls weren't around, so she turned herself into the opposite sex.  I have to say, if I were a witch this would be one of the first things I would do too.  Not to hear what boys say really, more for the experience.  But I bet I'd be really disappointed by how ugly a boy I'd be. 




Hilda and Zelda also change genders this episode, which is SO GOOD. 



Going back to the Time Ball, I love Sabrina's 60's looks.  At the River Island press day yesterday there were a lot of these camel-hued capes and big boots.  I'm very into it. 




Valerie's belted cardigan, nude lipstick and false lashes also warrant a big fat thumbs up. 



Aw, Harvey.  I loved Harvey.  Look how cute he and Sabrina are when they wear similar colours and prints. 



Look how cute they are just having a chat in the hall. 


And when they're all ready to get into the ski bus to go on their ski trip wearing all their ski clothes. 



I want more ear piercings.  

Woah this piece is getting long, I could do this all day.  OK, focus, let's look at Zelda.  Silver crushed velvet top and beige trousers Zelda. 




How'd you like that?  What about Zelda in animal print?


Hilda in animal print? (This outfit is perfect BTW FTR)



Maybe you'd like to see their gothic witchy Halloween outfits? #bellsleeves #crochet


Or Zelda's immaculate Christmas outfit?  THE RED SHOES.



RED SHOES. 


That festive season she also wears this green look, with one of those chain belts that used to be popular even though they held up absolutely nothing. 


GUYS SABRINA'S CHRISTMAS OUTFIT THOUGH.  RED SHOES AGAIN. 




This year I'm going to wear red suede and velvet on the 25th and not just pick clothes based on the fact they'll give me more room to eat. 

Imagine coming down to breakfast and seeing these two beauties hanging out. 



Or having your cat eat your Time Ball and finding your guardians cross legged with plaits and headbands. #TimeBall


Wouldn't it be good to be able to borrow/steal clothes from these wardrobes?




I don't know, I just think maybe you should consider it. 

Hey guys, in one episode Sabrina had cornrows. 




And in another episode she got all cosy with this brown fur 3/4 length coat.  And what were those headband things called that she's wearing?  They always looked like they'd be intensely painful after a couple of hours. 



Valerie's sheepskin jacket?  Also excellent. 

Out of all her intro looks that Sabrina magicked herself into, this was my favourite.  In case you're doing a survey. 


She looks great in orange, which is not something you can say about a lot of people.  She can even wear orange and red together and it works.  Now THAT'S magic. 



I nearly forgot one of my favourite outfits of the series, this little lace-edged monochrome jacket and matching top. 



And the double twisted bun hair is wonderful. 


OK, we need to end on some of Salem's best moments from this season. 

His "let's all party!" moment.


His waffle-head  moment. 


His blonde moment.


His 60's moment #TimeBall


And his gambling in a suit moment. 


TIE DYE NAILS FOR A LAZY OAF

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For some reason I can't stop singing "Sally Hansen, Sally, Sally, Hansen" to the tune of 'Alejandro' by Lady Gaga.  Anyway, that's neither here nor there, I just wanted to share.  And rhyme, apparently.  

This jumper from Lazy Oaf is fun.  It's fun in a bun, fun for your mum, it's a fun squared fun sum, and in typical LO fashion, it is a bit Seuss-esque.  However, it's also supremely comfortable.  I like that the sleeves are a bit long and bunch around the elastic on the wrist, and I love the fuzzy-ness of the eyes that are always looking suspiciously at someone in the corner of the room.  I've wanted to wear it pretty much everyday for the last couple of weeks and I don't think that desire is going to disappear anytime soon.  

The nail wraps are from Sally Hansen (*sings again*). I got them in a Duane Reade in New York.  For those of you who don't know, Duane Reade is a chain of pharmacy stores, and they're flipping amazing.  I can spend hours in DR. I've been a patron of theirs for as long as I've been visiting America (it was in a DR that I first discovered hair mascara as a teenager, oh joy of joys).

As for the rest, the shorts and boots are both from ASOS and the crockery was a very generous wedding gift. 

RIVER ISLAND AW 2014

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Last week I went to the River Island press day for their AW collection, which was great, although it has made me long for winter and the excuse to wear a CAPE which is weird.  I am writing CAPE in caps because I never, ever, thought I'd be someone who coveted one.  The accessories and boots were a home run - fluffy pastel bags reminiscent of Regina George and wishes of "maybe this year I'll be prom queen", crocodile and snake print bags with chunky gold chains, sparkly beanies and white...everything.  Snow is a big influence for RI's Winter looks, and I love the idea of wearing pale colours when it's cold.  It's so easy to just do black, but having a big pink coat, bare legs and thick socks? Yes. Thumbs. 

There were biscuits (see below) decorated to look like key pieces from the range.  I picked a blue clutch bag, mainly because it was the best way to eat the most cookie.  Priorities, guys.  I also made a pom pom with a face and a bow in her fluff who I called Esmerelda.  She tells me what to do now.  She's terrifying. 






My absolute favourite pieces, which I loved so much I'm going to be constantly refreshing the RI website till I can get my hands on them, were this CAPE below (very Sabrina when she gets stuck in the 60's), and these platform beige Timberland-esque ankle boots, also below.  I am dreaming of these boots.  I want them on my feet right now.  

CAPE. 


STYLE DISSECTION: 'SAVED BY THE BELL'

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Saved By The Bell, the American TV series which ran from 1989 to 1993, has become an iconic slice of idealised teen-dom.  It was a show with strong morals, flimsy sets and a Principal with a very high pitched laugh.  Of course at the time I didn't care about any of that, I was far too invested in the lives and wardrobes of Jessie, Kelly, Lisa, Zack and Slater.  And Screech, kind of.  These were kids with golden California-sunshine lives, sure bad stuff happened but none of it ever lasted for longer than 25 minutes, and at the end we all came away having learned an important life lesson.  For example, don't do drugs, work hard, save your local diner, help old people.  That kind of thing.

Rewatching it now brings a rush of nostalgia: this was what I grew up thinking America was like.  But of course no one has a life like these guys, it's pure teen fantasy.  It's so safe, no one is ever in serious danger - there's no real peril.  It's warm and cosy, it feels a million miles away from shows like My So-Called Life, Beverly Hills 90210 and even Dawson's Creek.  Compared to the gritty real-ness of Angela, Joey et al, this is a cartoon.  Except in a cartoon the characters can go outside and are able to venture into more than just five rooms in their lives.  Seriously - all the scenes are either in the same bit of hallway, the same classroom, the diner, the gym, or one bedroom they just switch around depending on which character supposedly sleeps in it.

I also realised that the treatment of outsiders in the programme is sort of messed up.  The main characters, who are supposed to be good, honest people, are often laughing at other characters in glasses who are overweight/have nasal voices/snort when they laugh.  Stereotypical "nerds", I guess.  And boy nerds are nearly always in bow ties, while girl nerds have plaits.  Both wear glasses.  Obviously that's the show creators being lame-o's rather than the actors, but still it's a weird running joke to have on a show that's so preachy about being a perfect teen.  Oh, wait, it's because that means you have to be physically perfect too!  I just got that!

Here are some of said nerds.  Yes, one of them is Tori Spelling.








However, it wasn't all negative. The focus on working hard is pretty cool, and I think Jessie Spano gave me my first taste of feminism.  Sure it was a bit heavy-handed, but still.  Then there was Kelly. Kelly Kapowski was my dream girl, I wanted to be her so badly.  She was sweet, funny, beautiful, hard-working and great at sports.  And her wardrobe was perfect.  I always loved how fashionista Lisa Turtle dressed, but I knew I would never have the confidence to wear door knocker earrings, and Jessie's serious nature extended to her outfits.  But Kelly dressed like the coolest girl in the world, she was amazing.  

Here, let me show you. 

KELLY KAPOWSKI

Kelly loves pink.  She is nearly always in pink. 



"Oh hey guys, just lookin' in my mirror"


"My friend Lisa is so into shopping she has made maps of every mall in the area" (Genuinely what is happening in this scene). 


"I found a blusher that matches my top"


"This movie sucks but my shoes are DOPE"



"We're clapping my all-fuscia outfit right?"



"My mom says there is a shortage of pink clothing dye, I'm freaking OUT"



"I think a lot of people thought that wearing pink floral paperbag shorts couldn't be done...Look, I'm no hero"



"I know this dress and silver belt is a perfect combination and I'm so happy about I can't even hear what lame scheme Zack is currently plotting"


"Jessie, I really want to lend you my denim jacket with pink lace sleeves, but what if something happens to it?"

Kelly also loves florals.  Especially floral co-ordinates. 



"This is my favourite off the shoulder top, I got it at the mall on a Wednesday so I call it my mall Wednesday top".  


"I wonder if the mall is open right now?  I wonder if it's a Wednesday..."


"We're all pretending something is wrong with our backs for some reason, but I'm really just trying to show off my matching crop top and cycling shorts.  Mission.  Accomplished". 

Life isn't always easy for Kelly though, she's often caught in the middle of her love triangle with Zack and Slater.  And on one occasion a locker fell on her head when Slater was driving his strange buggy-car-thing around the school halls.  Because there is no outside in SBTB world.  These guys have never even seen a tree. 


Ow!

When bad stuff like that happens Kelly stays in her room, which is decorated with lots of sports equipment and posters of sports equipment (presumably because they couldn't have posters of actual sports people on the walls) and looks sad.  She is often hugging her teddy. 


"I have to pick between the two hottest guys in school!  Not even my poster of a huge tennis ball can comfort me right now". 


"Dad I went really crazy last night and put all my soft toys in my mini basketball net and now I feel weird about it and I think they're judging me". 


"Just looking out the window, feeling sad, hugging my teddy, surrounded by piles of sports equipment, stuffed toys...and Indiana Jones style hats..."


"...I keep my posters of a bike and a baseball glove by the door so they're the first thing people see when they walk in the room.  I think they say so much about me as a person". 

For the record you can buy a replica Bayside High jumper like the one Kelly is wearing below online, and I have nearly purchased it several times, and only stopped myself because someone walked in the room and asked what I was doing.



These two are pretty frickin' cute, it has to be said. 

Another look Kelly does really well is the crop top and denim skirt look, which she wears with white or coloured Keds.  On my first trip to America I made my parents buy me some Keds, but then my mum got some too and it kind of ruined it for me.  Especially because they looked better on her. 


 "Why don't you cut off your mullet Slater?  Seriously".


"Cropped purple denim jacket, purple top and floral purple skirt.  I am SO RAD RIGHT NOW AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT". 



"I'm wearing a bralet at school.  A BRALET.  At SCHOOL."


Ha!  That look on that extra's face is amazing. 


They're peitioning against a beauty pageant BTW.  


"Yes you can be against superficial beauty pageants and still rock a cobalt strapless dress!  I know 'cos Jessie told me!"

Kelly is so great. 



Weird thing I noticed - Tiffani Thiessen who plays Kelly looks at the camera and crew a lot during filming.  Watch out for it next time you're having an all-weekend SBTB marathon session.  I KNOW YOU DO IT. 


JESSIE SPANO

Jessie has got guts, she's bold and strong and takes crap from  no one.  She's the Bayside badass.  She even punched a guy.  Violence isn't cool but I think this was self-defence. 


Clothing-wise Jessie is classy and grown up.  She mainly wears high-waisted trousers with shirts and vests.  She likes her mom jeans. 


"Hey Zack!  Here's a photo of me being more badass than you". 



"I defy you not to take me seriously in this floral shirt, Belding.  I DEFY YOU". 


"I'm sitting on my desk so I can see you over Kelly's blow dry". 


"My blazer is so much better than his white suit, but I need to keep looking in this direction so I don't have to deal with Slater's weird crotchet vest thing". 

However sometimes she branches out into shorts, and the result is excellent.  



"While I want to save Max's Diner, I'm not a big fan of mustard.  Unless it's the colour of my clothes *drops mic*"



The outfit above is worn by Jessie in the infamous epiosde, 'Jessie's Song' where Jessie gets hooked on caffeine pills and totally loses it.  "I'm so excited".


That episode is also special because it features the music video the ladies make for their hit smash 'Go For It'.  Their band is called Hot Sundae.  I can't believe you've never heard of them.  In the video they're wearing a lot of spandex workout gear, which is cut with very, very high legs.  





I love this editing trick they do below.  I want to do that with our next video.  




"My ghost face is siiiiinging on you whiiiiile you work oooooooout"



I know that's what I look like when I exercise.  

In fact, high legs were a big deal during this era of female fashion. 



I'm not 100% sure how comfortable this look would be, surely it's like having a wedgie all the time?  And while you're working out too?  And does Jessie really need a belt to hold up her leggings?


Being a woman with curly hair myself, I'm particularly drawn to Jessie's locks and the way she scoops them up and accessorises with headbands, bows and clips.  BIG bows and clips. 








I love the friendship the girls have, in particular that of Jessie and Kelly - they compliment each other so well.  Jessie introduces Kelly to ideas and opinions she wouldn't think of independently, and Kelly softens Jessie up and encourages her to be more understanding.  It's so lovely!


LISA TURTLE

When it comes to clothes, Lisa knows what's up.  She defines herself through her outfits. She IS her wardrobe.  And her hats.  And her shoes.  And her earrings.  And her hair.


Lisa's style rules:

1. Be Serious About Polka Dot


"Yeah, I mean, I guess you could say I'm a bit dotty"


"What do you mean my dots are too big?  I'LL SHOW YOU TOO BIG"


"Hey Screech, are these dots too big for ya?"


"WHAT ABOUT THESE ONES? POW POW POW"

2. Red, White And Black Are Always A Good Combination


"Haha, it's so funny Zack actually thinks his clothes look good"


"Today I managed to combine red, white and black with polka dots and now we have world peace".


"Yes, I know I'm a style goddess.  I allow you to touch me". 


"Psst...My shoes are zebra print and you haven't complimented me on them yet".


"I can accessorise with a FRICKIN' CAR".  

3. Learn How To Sass And Perfect Your Stink Eye


"Jessie stole my idea to use a big bow headband to deal with her curls"


"I'm the only one around here who can wear a tassled suede jacket, OK?"


"My tropical florals are so much better than Kelly's pastel ones"


"No one is saying or doing anything to make me mad right now, but practise makes perfect.  Also my earrings are heavy and they kind of hurt". 


"Tori. Spelling."

4. Make Lime Green Work For You. 



"I'm so tired of hearing how much better I look in green than Screech does". 


Make it rain, Lisa!

5. Denim Is Better With Additions


"Jessie I can't believe you've not done ANYTHING to your jeans!  I'm sick of your excuses!"


"Yes, those are stars on my skirt, and yes I have added military-esque embellishments to my distressed boxy cropped jacket.  I really need to make my life about something other than just being your denim hero". 


"These shorts were great and all, but now I've put lace on the hem they're a PARTY".  *Kelly agrees*. 


"Metal rings on my jacket, metal rings on my jumper, metal rings in my ears.  It's a no-brainer!"

6. Just Because Everyone Else Follows The Rules Doesn't Mean You Have To


"Didn't you get the memo Zack?  It's cool to be non-conformist"


"*Gulp* these earrings are going to be so impractical on the assault course". 

So, there you have it.  Classic late 80's/early 90's looks.  I miss these guys, I wish they'd do a reunion.  


Maybe without Screech though, especially after Dustin Diamond's distressing post-SBTB antics...


BEHIND THE SCENES 'SAVED BY THE BELL' PHOTOS

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After doing a style dissection of the show on Tuesday I'm so happy to have been sent a link to these behind the scenes photos from Saved By The Bell, which were reblogged from Buzzfeed.

They're just wonderful, what I wouldn't give to rummage around in those big boxes behind the ladies (below), full of bracelets and coloured socks.  And how cute do Tori Spelling and Dustin Diamond look together?  Just hanging out all casual with an official SBTB letterman jacket.  Dreamy.



INSPIRED BY: THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS

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OK, so this post should actually be called 'Inspired By: That One Scene In The Royal Tenenbaums When Margot Has Brown Hair And Wears 15 Denier Tights' (see above).  I'm not blonde, and I don't have a bob,s so therefore I will never truly be able to re-create Margot Tenenbaum's signature look, or the placid stare that makes her the amazing woman she is.

However, as always, it was fun to dress like one of my movie heroines - I'd never put liner on my bottom lashes before today.  Big moment guys!  I don't think I would have ever thought of putting a Lacoste tennis dress with loafers and a fur coat (Margot's is full length by the way.  And definitely not leopard print).  It seems a bit wrong to team something so summery with a coat that is definitely made to be worn from October to March.  But then Margot is very unconventional.  

The loafers are from Truffle, the coat is from ASOS, and the weird desire to cut off my finger with an axe and fall for my suicidal adopted brother is all Margot. 

CHEATER'S SALTED CARAMEL MILLIONAIRE SHORTBREAD

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Last week I made sweet potato brownies.  I follow lots of Instagrams that feature healthy cooking and baking, endless photos of colourful and nourishing food.  Eat the rainbow.  I try and eat lots of vegetables and lean meat, except when it comes to Meat Liquor burgers, desserts and tea time.  I could sit down and eat a whole cake and not feel sick - I have an astounding capacity to chomp through endless plates of brownies.  I could live on triple chocolate cookies.  But then I thought - how wonderful it would be if there were actually recipes for the things I love that were also nutritious?  So I tried the sweet potato brownie recipe.  They turned out exactly as they were supposed to - they were sweet potato brownies.  

Maybe I just need to be more flexible?  Maybe my tastebuds need to grow up?  Maybe it was just the wrong recipe for me.  But I've come to the conclusion that if you're going to make brownies, or cakes, or millionaire shortbread with salted caramel, then you need to do it properly, and for me that means full fat.  And that means chocolate, butter, sugar and biscuits.  (No offence at all intended to people who love sweet potato brownies - in fact I'm jealous of you).  

This recipe is a cheat because I use pre-made digestive biscuits for the base and condensed milk for the caramel.  I actually prefer it to the version I make with real caramel, though.  So there.  And it's salted because I think salt is the most amazing ingredient we have.  I put it on everything, including my porridge. 

INGREDIENTS
For the base:
250g Digestive biscuits 
125g Butter

For the caramel:
Can of condensed milk (about 400g)
150g Butter
150g Soft dark brown sugar
As much sea salt as you like

Topping:
200g Milk chocolate (Or dark.  Or white.)

Heat the oven to 150°C for a fan oven and line a baking tray, one that measures about 20cm.

Crush the biscuits as much as you can.  I put them in a Ziploc bag and roll over them with a rolling pin until they're a big dusty mess.  Melt 125g of the butter and then pour the biscuit crumbs into the pan.  Stir them together and then pour the buttery. biscuity mixture into the baking tray, pushing it down so it's flat and even.  Bake in the oven for about 10 minutes.  Take it out and leave to cool.  

Melt the 150g of butter and the sugar in a pan, then add the condensed milk.  Keep stirring as you bring it to the boil.  When the butter is no longer separated and the caramel has thickened add the salt - I use about a teaspoon - and then taste to see if it's salty enough.  It's usually not. When you've got yours perfect, pour it onto the biscuit base.  Put it in the fridge for about 30minutes, until the caramel has set - you should be able to touch it gently and still have a clean finger.  Melt the chocolate using the bain-marie method and then and pour it over the caramel.  Use a spatula to spread it evenly, then put the tray of amazing-ness back in the fridge for a couple of hours till the chocolate is hard.  Cut it into slices - I recommend heating the knife in hot water first so the chocolate doesn't crack.  Eat it for breakfast. With extra salt. 


INSPIRED BY: SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH

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There were so many outfits I could have chosen as inspiration for today's outfit post, but after my Style Dissection of the show I was swayed by Sabrina and Zelda's prediliction for red when it comes to their Christmas wardrobes (see pictures below).  And yeah, I know it's not even June, but I like to plan ahead.

I also picked up this Pull&Bear cat purse and ASOS cat ears watch to represent the awesome-ness that is Salem Saberhagen.  The dress is also from ASOS.  I had to have Sabrina-esque mesh and Zelda-esque bell sleeves, so it was perfect.  The shoes are from Ganni, who are a Danish brand and as wel as shoes make beautiful patterned dresses and silky kimonos.  I think Zelda would love those.  Now all I need to do is save up enough money to buy their real-life house in New Jersey, turn it back into a home, and discover those latent magical powers I DEFINITELY have.






THE PUNK SINGER

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This weekend I watched this documentary about Kathleen Hanna, hero and musician from Bikini Kill, Le Tigre and The Julie Ruin.  A mix of archive footage and new interviews, it features loads of amazing people, including Tavi Gevinson, Kim Gordon, Adam Horowitz and Carrie Brownstein all talking about Hanna, the Riot Grrrl movement, and her influences on music, culture and feminism.  Guys, she coined the phrase, "Smells like teen spirit".  It's beautiful and funny and moving.  It actually came out last October but for some reason I've missed it till now, get hold of it and watch it, it's fantastic.

STYLE DISSECTION: CARRIE IN 'SEX AND THE CITY' (SEASON 2)

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I feel bad that those two movies have ruined Sex And The City for a lot of people, and confirmed to the naysayers that yes, this was a vapid, superficial show, completely out of touch with real life.  I mean, it pretty much was those things - I can't deny it had a lot of flaws - but there was also a time when it was funny and smart, and discussed/portrayed things that we'd not seen on the small screen before. Samantha, I'm looking at you here.  

And, jeez, it was a great-looking show.  

Today I'm only going to focus on the second season, as I think that was when the show - and Carrie - were  at their best.  It was before Aidan, before the cheating on Aidan, and before hair straighteners and tongs.  (OK, she discovers them halfway through this season, but still).  This was curly Carrie with the blues, Carrie who has just been dumped by Big - sorry, JOHN - and was miserable in her beloved wintery New York.  

Guys, look how sad she was.  



(She thought she'd seen Big, but it was just another Wall Street guy with brown hair in a suit. PHEW). 

So here are the best of Carrie's outfits/hairstyles and makeup choices for the entire second season that aired in 1999.  I took TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY screengrabs for this post, so pack a lunch guys.  It's gonna be a long one. 

Fur.  When the season starts it's winter so Carrie and her pals are wearing lots of it.  Here is Charlotte in her matching pink coat and jumper telling her lovelorn best friend she has to put on some strappy sandals and get out into the world. 



ALRIGHT FINE, CHARLOTTE.  STOP NAGGING ME. GO FIND THAT GUY FROM TWIN PEAKS ALREADY. 

Did they call each other first to discuss whether or not they were all gonna wear their furs?


The best place to cheer up a friend who has just been dumped is a baseball game.  


There are so many shots in the show of Carrie looking wistfully into the distance as we hear the voice over of what she's thinking.  I wonder if the director had a shorthand with Sarah Jessica Parker for these moments.  How did she stay in character?  Did she recite her lines over and over in her head, or was she thinking about what she was gonna eat for dinner?  Or if when she stood up her bare legs would be stuck to the plastic seat and it would hurt?

Here are her best wistful looks from this season. 


"Oh god, these aren't my sunglasses". 


"I'm out of tampons again"


"Why do my fingers STILL taste of garlic?"


"Urrgh my bum itches but if I move it'll ruin the shot"


"No one knows this wine is actually Ribena except me, hee hee"


"I wonder if anyone will believe it's possible to get curly hair this straight using only a tiny travel hairdryer"

Anyway, back to the furs. 


I love how Carrie teams her furs (hurs) with bare legs, strappy sandals and summery dresses, like this blue one she wears on her first rebound date. 




I'm also a big fan of this fur-trimmed jacket she wears with loads of beads, a plait in her hair, and a downcast expression. 



As you can see, she likes having one shoulder bare. Classic Carrie chilled-out styling. 


Her casual writing-at-home clothes are awesome.  I care a lot about this aspect of her wardrobe as I work from home and spend most of my time in clothing whose main benefit is that I won't need to change out of it when I go back to bed for my essential afternoon nap.  Carrie makes way more effort than I do.  She often wears printed kimonos or dressing gowns, silky slips and shorts, and cotton T-shirts and jumpers adorned with weird slogans like...


"Maniac".  

So I present to you now, Carrie "At Home".  


Yes, yes, yes.  Pure Rainbow Brite. 


CARRIE IS A ROLLING STONES FAN.  This is pretty much the only reference to music in the entire show.  And it's just a logo on a T-shirt.  I find that a bit nuts. Oh no wait, Big makes two references to songs - 'Moon River' and 'New York State Of Mind', Charlotte dances to Carol Douglas, and there's also that time Carrie's Russian artist boyfriend says Billy Joel is rubbish and Steve and Harry get really upset.  

So, Rolling Stones, Billy Joel, Carol Douglas and Andy Williams.  Cool.  I wonder what Carrie does with all that extra space on her iPod. 


Love those lacy shorts. 

OK, guys get prepared, this outfit below is amazing.  A Sesame Street Cookie Monster vest, matching tracksuit trousers and slides.  



COOKIE!!!!!1111ONEONEONE


Cigarettes and satin.  That should have been the name of her book. 


Is that another band T-shirt?  What does it say?  Jon Schzigehr? Who is Jon Schzigehr?  Or is it Jon Scheyer, the ex-basketball player who led his high school team to an Illinois state basketball championship amongst other sporting achievements?  Wow, Carrie likes basketball.  She must also be able to see into the future as Jon was only 12 when this episode was made.  

I love what she's doing with her hair here, clipping back the fringe.  I've tried that with mine but Jeremy said it looked strange.  He's always crushing my hair dreams.

Also love this kimono she's wearing when she pushes her post off the bed with her foot because she doesn't want to touch it with her hands.  It's a long story.  


This dressing gown has sequins!


Another great hair thing she does is this one below.  Pretty sure Daenerys Targaryen was inspired by these twisty braids. 



And her hair here is PERFECT. 




As you can see Carrie is a fan of shawls and ponchos.  I want this poncho below so bad, crazy bad, I'm desperate for it, but I'm not really sure why, I feel like I would find ponchos very inconvienent to wear.  Maybe it's just that I like the word poncho. 



I know, I know.  Miranda in that hat, hoodie and poloneck.  I don't feel ready to talk about it yet. 


Carrie dresses in themes rather than outfits.  So the ponchos and capes tie into her boho/peasant theme.  As does this milkmaid look. 


This beautiful embroidered top and plaits. 



And this cape and pigtails. 



Then there is her vintage dresses and big messy hair theme.  I call it Mummy's Dress Up Box. 


"Carrie and Samantha are walking past a park eating pretzels". 



"Carrie and Samantha are walking past the park eating ice cream". GO IN THE PARK, GUYS! LIVE A LITTLE.

Below is the vintage dress and big hair Carrie is wearing when she goes over to Big's with McDonalds so she can tell him she's fine with him going to Paris for a bit.  Beret...French fries....get it?



Then she throws the Filet-O-Fish at Big's tiny TV and they both grip the kitchen island for strength.  Big is secretly relieved because Filet-O-Fish are gross. 


Below is her pretty dreamy, floral, "I met a cute guy at the psychiatrists" look. 


I love everything about this outfit - the hair, the blue dress, the clutch, the book.  Everything. 




Her next theme is, "I know what you THINK I should wear with this, but I'm going to do the opposite".  It's basically when she has a pretty normal outfit but then messes with it in some way.  I call it the Defying Expectiations Theme or DET for short.  It is these outfit quirks that I think really make Carrie who she is. 



That many tones of mustard and pea green together?  With a pink scarf?  Fair enough. 


Perspex mules with a gold heel?


Shiny pink high waisted trousers?


And a peasant top and big fur coat?  Sure, why not. 

A denim bucket hat?


Yup. 

Using Heather Chandler as style inspiration?




Mesh top with just a bra underneath and the holes in the mesh are pretty big?



Sweet.  Also, hi Stanford. 

Tie dye, and a printed floral skirt in a slightly different shade of blue, and a printed bag?



Hell yeah.  Mmm, bagels.  

This cowboy hat/bralet/armband combo she wears to a beach party in the Hamptons?



OK, cowboy hats I find very difficult to embrace, partly because they're a tricky shape to hug, zing.  But actually this one proves very handy when Carrie is sick on the beach after seeing Big with his new 25 year old girlfriend.  IF YOU HAVEN'T VOMMED INTO A COWBOY HAT, YOU HAVEN'T LIVED (another possible book title?)


And finally, yellow shorts, a blue halterneck and black patent pumps.  



She is so in the zone. 

Oh and yes, that is Jon Bon Jovi in the screengrab with her.  This season has a lot of amazing guest stars including....


Bradley Cooper. 


Brian Van Holt AKA Bobby Cobb in Cougar Town


Will Arnett


Dean Winters AKA Dennis Duffy, Liz Lemon's hopeless boyfriend in 30 Rock


And Justin Theroux. 

ANYWAY another of Carrie's themes is her straight hair, crop top and full skirt one.  I call it Sleek Carrie And It's Not Working With Big theme. 








It kind of speaks for itself.  

And FINALLY the last theme, which Carrie does so well - it's when she looks her most stunning - is when she keeps it simple with a well-cut dress, natural hair, and simple makeup that makes her skin glow.  This lady loves her matte lipsticks. 



This nude dress is amazing.  I would never have the confidence to wear it, but it looks so darn good on her. 


Love her steel grey eyeshadow and peachy lips. 


This pink dress below is the one she wears when she tries to be friends with Big and he tells her he's getting married to Natasha after only five months and she storms out and gets tangled up in a chair and then trips on some steps as she leaves.  It's the perfect "Gonna see my recent ex and want to look amazing" outfit combined with two of the worst things that can happen when you go and see your recent ex while wearing your amazing outfit. 




And this is what she wears after her, Miranda and Charlotte sing the Barbara Streisand song from the film The Way We Were to Samantha in a cocktail bar, and then Carrie walks home past the hotel where Big and Natasha are celebrating their engagement.  Carrie acts out a moment from the film with him (without his knowledge), then turns and looks at a horse that's being all wild and free, and realises that like the horse, she cannot be tamed.  




Great dress.  

OK, we're done!

Man, I need a lie down.  And a poncho. 

THAT TIME I INTERVIEWED LOUISE WENER

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After Sleeper’s very first interview Wener was branded mouthy and outspoken, labels that would follow her for the rest of her career. Rather than fight it, she decided to try and take things into her own hands, “I would plan about three things that I thought would be interesting or just make a difference, or would mean that we would get a bigger piece. I think I lost control a bit, I became such a caricature.” Wener was also titled a sex symbol on several occasions by Melody Maker and NME. How did this particular accolade feel? “After being the plain kid at school suddenly I wasn’t any more, but it also felt so reductive. In the first paragraph of anything written about me they would mention it. I didn’t feel comfortable, and then I wondered why I didn’t feel comfortable…I still don’t know how I feel about it even now. We live in a post-feminist world where women have the right to go and be pole dancers and feel great about it, but I feel uncomfortable with the inherent sexualisation in music which is more prevalent now than it’s ever been”.
After years of flailing in indie obscurity Wener and her bandmate Jon Stewart decided to stick two fingers up at the superficiality of the industry they so desperately wanted to be a part of. They sent off demos to record companies, around which they wrapped a copy of their recent NME live review – which they’d written themselves. “It was the first thing I’d ever written. We found this skanky little guy in a basement and we gave him the font and the layout so he could get everything just right. I made a point of saying we weren’t too brilliant, as I thought that would be too exposing. I think I said something like ‘this is a scene that celebrates itself and this band needs celebrating’…something unbearably naff.” The plan went further. They placed an advert for a dancing audition which would take place at their next gig, “I think we had 30 auditionees. People phoned up before because of the advert and I pretended to be an agent, ‘Just dance and look zingy’. There was dancing at the front, it was bizarre – why were people dancing? That never happens at a little indie gig. Afterwards a couple of them rang up and shouted at us. There was a certain level of embarrassment that we’d done that but it paid off a little bit.”
I don’t know what I’m doing with my face in this photo.
Today, fewer and fewer bands seem to be able to make that leap into major label gold. Which is in some ways a good thing – encouraging a worthy “it’s all about the music, man” approach, and inspiring camaraderie and Blitz spirit amongst bands. Though she’s not an avid follower of current music trends, this is something Wener empathises with, “I think there’s less room to make mistakes, but then there are some great ways into it. You don’t have to sign a huge deal”. But for Sleeper, was money a big part of the appeal? Without hestiation Wener nods, “We wanted to make loads of money, although we didn’t [laughs] but that’s where the power was, and I wanted the power to be mine and not theirs. I felt like once you had money you could start saying no to things and dictate it. Fame, power, money. That would be great.”
The end of Britpop coincided with the creation of New Labour – Noel Gallagher and Alan McGee publically supporting Tony Blair and even attending a celebratory party at Number 10. This dismayed many of their peers who saw this introduction of a political party into the Britpop fold as, Wener puts it, “the death of rebellion”. It was undoubtedly lame. “We [as bands] were conformist, but we hoped there was a rebellion instinct, and if there was, that was the point it stopped. It’s the job of people outside the establishment to remain outside the establishment and poke it hard”. Was she invited to Tony’s tea party? A long “no”.
So once again we find ourselves in political and economical turmoil, with a (half) Conservative Government. Will this inspire bands to “poke”? “I think it will. I think there’s been so much complacency, the ‘Coldplay model’. It’s all very sweet and emotional, with no-one kicking, and I think really great music comes from having something to kick against. It might become a bit more angular and powerful and aggressive. More than just overt lyrics like ‘Clegg has gone completely mad’”.
Would Sleeper pick up their instruments to lead the rebellion? “Um…no. It seems appropriate for Blur and Pulp because they were so much bigger than us and they never really stopped doing it, stepping back into it would feel strange.” But she must miss it? “I only miss it when I go to a gig, I get a bit teary because I know what kind of day they’ve had, it’s like going back to your school or something, I have a connection there. But that only lasts for about an hour…”
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN NOTION

NAIL FILE: SALLY HANSEN SALON EFFECTS 'OUT OF LINE'

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This range of nail strips by Sally Hansen are becoming fast favourites. They stay on for days and come in loads of different patterns and colours, most of which are excellent.  Although every time I read the name of these Aztec ones, 'Out Of Line' I think of that Victoria Beckham and Dane Bowers single 'Out Of Your Mind', which then makes me think of The Office because they play that song when everyone goes to 'Chasers', the awful nightclub in Slough.  David Brent gets very drunk and says terrible things to the friend of the woman he that day hired as his receptionist (and then accidentally headbutted).

But I don't think that's anything to do with Sally Hansen, and even if it was it's a nice memory as it also makes me think of Tim's descriptions of other Slough nightspots:

"There's New York, New York. They call it the nightclub that never sleeps. That closes at one".

So yeah, great nail strips!

RUNNING PLAYLIST

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So this is what happened.  I've always wanted to get into running. It seemed like the perfect exercise to do on tour as you actually get to see some of the city you're playing in other than the venue, and you don't need anything except your trainers (mine are Nike Flyknit Max's - the lightest, most comfortable shoes I've ever slipped on my feet).  But I never had the confidence to try it.  I've been a gym member and that was great except I don't like being talked to when I'm exercising and the personal trainers at my local would always stop me midway through a session for a chat about "What I want to get from the gym".  Err...So then I started working out at home instead, doing Insanity which is, well, insane.  I loved it.  But it's not that fun to do on tour in a cramped hotel room when you're knackered. (Although I've heard the Bombay Bicycle Club boys do it).

Then Jeremy read Haruki Murakami's book What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, and decided he wanted to try it, so he did, and loved it, which convinced me I should just go for it.  Our friend recommended the Get Running App, which we both used and would recommend highly.  It's a great way to start as you build up your runs slowly until eventually *SPOILER ALERT* one day you just run non-stop for 20 minutes, and you can do it, and it's fine, and you feel amazing.

Now I'm a total convert, I actually miss it on the days when I can't run.  I ran for the first time in the suburbs of Orange County, California which was a great place to start as runners there are so friendly - they don't just smile, they wave - and you're running in beautiful surroundings.  It was like an amazing comforting hug, a wonderful way to be inducted into the running world.  Then I ran in Brooklyn which was like a baptism of fire, out there at 7am on a Sunday when the only people awake were older gentlemen who seemed a bit tipsy and were slightly intimidating.  And also a guy shouted something at me from a car, then pulled the car over and asked me if I wanted a lift.  That was a bit weird.  The photo above is from a sleepy morning run in Spain - we ran on the beach,  very tough - and my longest run was in Hereford under the blazing sun.  (It was only my longest run because we got lost in a dandelion field and at one point I was so stressed I thought Jeremy would have to come pick me up in the car) and next week we'll be running in Sheffield when we're up there for Doc/Fest.

Brooklyn car guy aside, one of the best things about running is how invisible you feel.  You just swish (stumble/slowly drag your feet/huff) past people and no one cares about you or what you're doing.  I don't want to say it's empowering, but, well, it really is empowering.   My face gets redder than a baboon's bum and I could not care less.  It's amazing to see yourself improve, and it's the only exercise I've ever done that gives me a huge rush of endorphins when I've finished.

Anyway, if you're a runner - or even if you're not - I'm desperate for ideas of music to listen to while running as I've exhausted the albums I own.  I'm building up a running playlist with songs by the likes of Metronomy, Robyn, Bowie and a lot of Kanye, but any other suggestions would be very welcome.  Put them in the comments below, and then maybe I'll compile a huge running playlist with the best tracks on it.

MOTEL ROCKS (AND SO DOES SPAIN)

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Last week we went to Spain with some of our favourite people for a pal holiday.  It was very fun and we were thrilled to be staying in a gobsmackingly beautiful house overlooking the sea.  When it's hot I can never be bothered to do anything with my hair except leave it to dry naturally - it's such a boon to have the summer heat dry it faster than the six hours it usually takes - and now it's getting longer I was surprised by how much it expanded doing its curly thing.  So this post should really have the subtitle 'woah, look how huge my hair can get'.

I'm wearing a playsuit from Motel Rocks, I've loved them for ages, they do amazing prints and I'm particularly fond of this fluffy crop top that I have in several colours.  I like that this playsuit is long sleeved as it always gets a bit more chilly in the evenings than you'd imagine. #so #practical.  I'm wearing it with my ASOS chunky sandals, and my new TOMS sunglasses which I didn't remove from my face all week.  I'm very into their pink details.

One last thing, look at this paella our friend Barny made.  LOOK AT IT.


LESSONS WE'VE LEARNT FROM POP CULTURE

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Jeremy and I wrote this for The Guardian Guide a while ago, it’s all about the films and TV that have made us who we are today.
1. BEWARE THE BAD GIRL 
(REFERENCE POINT: NANCY IN THE CRAFT)
There’s one in every school. She snaps her gum, finds everything unutterably dull, and spends 95% of her time in the toilet, drawing rings round her eyes with kohl, a lit cigarette drooping from her red lips. To the quiet girl no one seems to notice, the bad girl is irresistible. You’d do anything to be in her clique: repress your high IQ, skip school so you can stand in the rain for eight hours pretending it’s fun, even have a candlelit seance where you pledge your allegiance to the devil. It’s not worth it. As Sarah discovers in The Craft, you risk entering a hell of magical trickery. Your ex-boyfriend will die after your best friend impersonates you and flies at him so fast he falls out the window, and you’ll believe your father is dead as the carpet in your house turns into a mass of writhing snakes. However, you will have the last laugh. While the bad girl is frogmarched off to a mental institution, you’ll retain your magical gifts. Everyone knows it’s the quiet ones you’ve got to watch out for.

2. STICK IT TO THE MAN WITH DANCE 

(REFERENCE POINT: FOOTLOOSE)

Like many of us, I used to think that the act of engaging in any sort of movement related to rock music was evil. I thought that it should be banned for all those under the age of 18, and that anyone who did partake should be heavily supervised. However, recently a young man called Ren – odd name I know, but that’s a whole different issue – spoke up in favour of “the rock music”. I didn’t listen then, not for a second, but oh boy, when I saw that kid dance! Suddenly all those resolutely unshakeable ideas I’d had for my entire adult life just flew out the window as I watched him gyrate rhythmically in a cropped grey sweatshirt. I’m not embarrassed to say I even looked down to see my own foot tapping. Forget love, music changes everything! See also: Grease, Dirty Dancing and The Breakfast Club.

3. BEING POPULAR CAN BE DEADLY 

(REFERENCE POINT: HEATHERS)

When you’re a teenager, you want to be part of something, you want to belong, to feel like people know you and respect you. Sometimes this can mean your friends don’t really feel like your friends, more like people you have to keep up with. It’s as if you work together and your job is being popular and stuff. So when one of those friends drags you to a college fraternity party and leaves you alone in a room with a mindless chump who has no idea what your name is, and then you accidentally throw up all over your friend’s shoes while arguing with her, you can feel like your life has ended. You may even feel like you want to go on a murder spree with your new emotionally unbalanced, trench-coated boyfriend, poisoning your besties with bleach, and shooting two jocks in the head in the middle of the woods. Don’t. Just lick it up baby, lick it up.

4. YOUR PARENTS ARE PROBABLY OK 

(REFERENCE POINT: MY SO-CALLED LIFE)

OK, so your parents suck. Your mother is a control freak who wants to be the master of every aspect of your life, from your grades to your party dress. You hate them! But when you sneak out of the big family gathering unseen to go to bad girl Rayanne’s birthday party, only to find her OD-ing, and her lame hippy new age mom awol, you’ll be glad your parents have it together. And sure, your dad might be unemployed, but he’s an amazing cook. And OK, maybe you think he might be cheating on your mother, but at least he doesn’t beat you up for being gay like Rickie Vasquez’s uncle does. All in all, your parents are pretty awesome. And when your crush Jordan Catalano sleeps with your best friend in a car outside a bar, you’ll be glad you’ve got them.

5. ANYONE CAN BE FRIENDS 

(REFERENCE POINT: FREAKS AND GEEKS)

Ah, Freaks And Geeks. That brilliant portrayal of the complicated, often spiky relationship between the two underclasses of the high school clique system: the hippy-leaning, music-loving, drug-taking Freaks, and the high-test-scoring, sunshine-eschewing Geeks. When ex-Geek Jean Weir buddies up to the Freaks (including James Franco, Seth Rogen and Jason Segel), it takes them a while to warm to her. But by the end of the season, Franco is playing Dungeons & Dragons with the AV Club in a dingy basement (his character is called Carlos the Dwarf). When Jean rejoins the Mathletes for one last contest and all the Freaks turn up to cheer her on, it proves one thing: truly, friendship can cross any boundary.

6. PEOPLE MAY CHANGE AFTER YOU ‘DO IT’ 

(REFERENCE POINT: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER)

Speaking of crossing boundaries, you might have thought it was pretty obvious that an affair between a schoolgirl of 17 with an occult mandate to destroy evil (Buffy) and a centuries-old vampire Gypsy cursed with a conscience (Angel) was never going to turn out perfectly. But, for a while there, it was good. They hunted evil vampires together, they made out in cemeteries, she gradually came to terms with the fact that before being cursed with goodness Buffy’s boyfriend killed hundreds of innocents. (Everyone’s got flaws!) But it all changed when they were swept up in their passion and went All The Way. Having finally experienced a moment of pure happiness, Angel’s curse is lifted and he goes back to being evil and killing people, before Buffy runs him through with a giant sword. We’ve all been there.

7. HIGH SCHOOL REUNIONS ARE A GEEK’S MOMENT OF GLORY 

(REFERENCE POINT: ROMY AND MICHELE’S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION)

It’s really not worth attempting to be cool, or pretty, or sporty at school, because if teen pop culture has taught us anything, it’s that kids who make it in their youth inevitably bomb after graduation. Their adult lives become an endless, depressing struggle to relive those glory days when they were taut, tanned and all their goals were achievable. Meanwhile the dorks who wore Doc Martens and black lace gloves had to look outside the school gates to find something they loved, and that loved them back. They got into bands, they wrote short stories, they disappeared into themselves, only to reappear 10 years later to discover that their wealth of geek knowledge has landed them a millionaire salary manufacturing rubber soles, or that their tendency to make their own clothes, embarrassing in high school, has resulted in their own fashion line. It’s far better to be a Romy, or a Daria, or even a Duckie (from Pretty In Pink) and wait it out so you can show all the haters at the reunion, than to bag a jock in freshman year and realise aged 18 that you’ve already experienced the best years of your life. And yes, this is a purely American tradition, but we think it can also apply to the UK. You just have to replace “high school reunion” with “Facebook photos where they look bad”.

8. TRUST YOUR MENTOR, NO MATTER WHAT 

(REFERENCE POINT: THE KARATE KID)

New to town and sick of getting beaten up by the local martial-arts jocks? (Every small town has karate jocks, right?) The Karate Kid – the tale of a young man seeking a mentor with a mysterious past to guide him through some sort of struggle, a story probably as old as Mr Miyagi himself – will look after you. Daniel-san enlists his building’s handyman to help him get really good at hitting people. Seems like an odd choice, but it works out, even though Mr Miyagi tricks his teenage charge into washing his fleet of classic cars and painting his fence. Daniel gets good at hitting people and wins the karate contest, to general jubilation. Oh, and of course he gets the girl. Learn from him.

INSPIRED BY: KELLY KAPOWSKI

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I accepted a long time ago that I could never be Kelly Kapowski, and that I will definitely never look like her.  Played by Tiffani (Amber) Thiessen, Kelly was Saved By The Bell's ultimate 90s teen queen (here is my Style Dissection of the show if you have no idea what I'm talking about).  This lady was sporty, ambitious, sweet, kind, and beautiful in a wholesome, all-American, "perfect" way.  When I was a teenager I felt like I was never good enough, had low-self esteem, and was bad at every single sport I was forced to play.  But the older I get the more romantic those teen years seem.  In fact I have a theory that our identity is mostly formed at one age - for me it was aged 18, the summer after I left school - and we don't really grow out of being that defining age, it's more that we grow into it.  We're caught in a cycle of repetition, except it's a comforting one where we have more chances to get better at the things we weren't confident about, and can recreate those intense emotions we enjoyed experiencing for the first time.

So it's a delight to try to dress like one of my pre-teen heroes, a woman I watched week after week and admired and longed to emulate.  And although I still don't know if I'd be confident to wear it in day-to-day life, it was fun to put this outfit together.  Kelly wears a lot of pink, Aztec prints, and floral, so I tried to do a triple hitter and tick all three boxes in one outfit.  My hair should really have been oozing hairspray, backcombed to within an inch of its follicle, but, well, I just don't know how to do that.  The crop top and shoes are from ASOS, the earrings are from Gogo Philip, the bag is from WEGO in Japan, and the shorts are from Native Rose.

Kelly Kapowski, teen dream, I will never forget you.  Now can someone help me convince Jeremy to dress like Zach Morris?


SHEFFIELD DOC/FEST: BEYOND CLUELESS LIVE SCORE

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Last week we went to Sheffield with the rest of  the Beyond Clueless team for the UK premiere of the film, and our first performance of the live score at The Crucible.  Here we are in our official jackets in front of a yellow American school bus, accessorising with red cups. 


The Crucible is a beautiful venue, one of the finest we've ever played in.  It also has orange seats. 


Charlie Lyne, the director of the documentary, came to soundcheck to check everything was working properly, and that we weren't going to be TERRIBLE.  He was wearing white trainers, black jeans and this authentic F.R.I.E.N.D.S T-Shirt.  He calls this look Nervous Stage Hand Who Is Worried He'll Accidentally Call Jennifer Anniston "Rachel" The First Time He Meets Her. 


It's important to fuel up before a gig, especially when it's an important one, as adrenaline burns those calories right up.  We went to Tamper for a hearty brunch and a hot milo (malted chocolate drink) which they serve with "textured" milk.  


Jeremy got some foam on his nose and it took all my willpower to tell him as I was sort of desperate for him to still have foam nose while on stage. 


The brunch was very strong. 


Although I ate it so quickly I was a bit worried I would be burping through every song. Although what could be more Frat than that?  Which is what I must have been pondering in this photo below. 


Charlie was really excited about the premiere and the live score. 


We had our good friends, and excellent musicians, Matt and Nathan on stage with us.  Here's the band backstage in our jackets, seconds before the show began.  I dressed up my outfit using two hands as shoulderpads, I think it works.


The score went really well, thanks for asking.  If you came to watch, thank you so much, we really appreciate it, as without an audience our job sort of doesn't make sense.  We'll also be doing the live score at Latitude Festival on the Sunday night, and at the BFI in London on the 8th of August.  We're also releasing the soundtrack to the film on vinyl and digital download on August 4th.  You can hear the title track from the album RIGHT NOW by clicking on the play button below.  Yay!  Technology!

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